How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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