I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I puked a lego.
I wish I only lived at night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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