found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
