My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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