do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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