I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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