i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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