Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need moral support for this bender
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
