Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I party with great urgency now.
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