I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
