Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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