Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
