Don't you send me to vm
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
