is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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