Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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