i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
