Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
bring money and cleavage
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
