PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
