I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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