Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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