More tranny stories later!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize