garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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