So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
