2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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