Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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