Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
