So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
