He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i already hear my dad disowning me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
