people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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