Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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