Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize