Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
