walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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