So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The air was thick with penises
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
