I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
