The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
