Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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