BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
