Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
