I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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