New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
