well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
