Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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