if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
