Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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