if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
