I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
