My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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