Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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