You made me cry and you don't even care
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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