I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
