I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
