Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Life is so much better after having sex.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
