Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
