Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
