so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
we're so committed to being not committed
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
