FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
