this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
