just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
