It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
