oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
